Dear Intactivists … Clearing the air…

I like to keep up with my fan base. I like to see where my articles are being talked about and who they are reaching. I read everything everyone writes. Good, bad, ugly. I take that in and internalize it so I can better my writings later.

With that said, I came across some things that I believe I need to address from my last article ‘Dear Intactivists…‘. Some thing that really got to me was a gentleman using the word ‘misandry’ in reference to how the article was written. That stung.

This is what I read on a forum that was discussing my article…

  “she seems to think men should not express emotions which smacks of misandry. Does she think women who have suffered FGM should not also be emotional? I suspect not. Circumcision harms more than the men. I hope she explains her experience to the cutting doctors.”

It made me pause for a second and reread my own article in case I was missing something. Did I really come off like that? Did I say anything close to telling men they shouldn’t speak up about the injustice that was forced upon them? God I hope not!!! That would make me a horrible person and anyone who has gotten to know me this last year and a half can vouch that my intentions are far from that!!!

I am all for survivors speaking up. Heck, who better to speak on a subject then a man/woman who has survived something any form of abuse or violation! I am an Egalitarian when it comes to matters of Human Rights. Everyone needs to be treated with respect. Everyone needs to be protected. Body, mind and soul. Males, females, old, young, unborn and born. Equal rights for ALL humans.

I did say “Stop fighting with your emotions. It makes you look crazy!” but that was aimed at those who come into the middle of a discussion or debate and start blasting parents with insults and just plain ugliness. For example..

(please click image for viewing)

They wont learn if we attack!

How is this helping anyone?! This was a conversation that took place just this morning. How are we to reach anyone when you have loose cannons like ‘Serene’ out there making it difficult for men and women to educated the misguided?

Men – I encourage you to tell your story. Whether you are whole or circumcised. TELL YOUR STORY! I get the anger and frustration. I do! There is a time and place for it all. Start by being civil. You will be surprised at how well a conversation will go when you do.

Whole men – Tell them about being whole. About how you do not suffer from the ailments that this God forsaken country we call America, suffers from! Tell them! PLEASE!! I BEG YOU!! YOU ARE THE IMPORTANT LINK IN THIS CHAIN! Just remember, there are more of you in this world than there are of them.

Circumcised men -Tell them about the loss you have experienced. About what has been taken from you. About how you have been injured mentally and physically and emotionally. Tell them how it has impacted not only you, but your sexual partners! Tell them!!!! PLEASE!! I BEG YOU!! YOU ARE THE IMPORTANT LINK IN THIS CHAIN! Just remember, you are the voices of our future sons who have been violated. My own sons included.

You men who speak out are amazing. You risk being made fun of, talked down to, insulted, called a ‘pussy’ or a ‘little bitch’ by women AND men who are blind to how victimization works. Who are victims themselves but are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.  Who mock you for not being part of the sheeple who accept the wrong that’s been done to them! I respect you. I WANT you to speak up. You NEED to speak up in spite of the ugly.

Honestly, I don’t know how to close this one. All I can say is that I hope and pray that people do not read my ‘Dear Intactivists…‘ article and get the idea that I am anything but sincere in my goal of trying to reach activists and making them stop and think before they speak out. Each situation is approached in a different tone but anger and belittling should be the last thing we want to be known for.

Thank you for your time and hopefully this clears any misconception that Im not in any shape or form, against victim rights or having a voice.

Raquel Newton
Founder/ Blogger

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One Response to Dear Intactivists … Clearing the air…

  1. I am a married man, father of daughters, a church attender, and an intactivist who is himself intact. I grew up in the USA, in a place and time where all but 5-6 boys and men I saw in locker rooms were cut. I have never had a problem with being intact, only problems with people who are disgusted by intact. I live in a country that used to circumcise baby boys, but completely gave up the practice. There is zero evidence here of any urological or STD problems stemming from the gradual abandonment of RIC, 1960-85. I have not been ridiculed for my intactivism. My wife has had far more sexual experience than I’ve had, including long term relationships with intact men. For her, intact works just fine. She also suspects that RIC promotes PE in adult men.

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