Vaccination: A Conflict of Interests – One mothers decision to not vaccinate and why.

Why have I chosen not to vaccinate the little boy that I carried close to my heart?  It certainly is not because I am unintelligent; it is not because I do not love and desire to protect my child; and it is not because I am a bad parent. In fact, quite the opposite; I will share with you my background only because I feel that it helps people who do not know me understand that I am not a crazy fanatical, uneducated mother. I am a registered nurse who has both specified education and experience in pediatrics. I love my little boy more than anything and just like any good mother, whether they choose to vaccinate or not, I would do anything to protect him from harm.

I also would like to preface my opinion with this statement: I do not think that mothers who vaccinate are bad mothers; I think they are concerned and loving mothers who are doing what is best for THEIR child. I would never tell a mother she shouldn’t have her child vaccinated; or that her decision makes her irresponsible. I believe that what is right for one family and child may not be for another. With that said, here are a few of the reasons I have chosen to withhold vaccinations from my child.

1) I do not feel that the ingredients found in vaccines are safe; some of the harmful chemicals in vaccines are:

*Formaldehyde– which is commonly used to embalm corpses and is a known carcinogen (capable of causing cancer)

*Thiomersal, a derivative of mercury which is a toxic heavy metal

*Aluminium phosphate – toxic

*Phenol (carbolic acid)

*Alum (a preservative)

*Acetone which is a volatile solvent used in fingernail polish remover.

*Vaccines also contain foreign proteins such as chick embryo, calf serum, rabbit brain tissue and monkey kidney cells. These foreign proteins can trigger numerous allergic and inflammatory reactions and can produce anaphylactic shock in some infants.

Clearly, these ingredients cause me great concern, because while I am extremely cautious as to what I expose Peyton to, in regards to his diet, it seems contradictory that I would not be concerned about what I am allowing people to inject directly into his little, vulnerable body. Especially when some of the ingredients are cancer causing. Granted, the FDA states that the amounts injected into our children are safe; but quite frankly, I don’t want to put ANY known toxic substance into my little one. In addition, those amounts are safe for ‘most’ children… but what about the exceptions. What if my son was in the exception? Then the story hits home… it becomes personal… it becomes detrimental and maybe deadly.

2) I feel that Peyton is not going to be exposed to illicit sex or drugs at this time (considering he was only hours old when they encouraged vaccination)… which is how Hepatitis B is commonly contracted.

3) Autism is at an all-time high. Now, I know that the CDC has said there are no links between vaccines and autism… but I did my homework on this one (I looked at research studies not just from the US) and for me, I felt that there was a link and the risk was too high. Here is a website that gives a lot of scientific articles with detailed research about how autism and vaccines have paralleled one another.

I find it quite interesting that autism was very rare until 1991, when vaccine prevalence increased. “Cases of autism in the U.S. have now increased by over 2700 percent since 1991, which is when vaccines for children doubled, and the number of immunizations is only increasing. Just one in 2,500 children were diagnosed with autism before 1991, whereas one in 91 children now have the disease, up from one in 150 just six years ago” -Prison Planet ( The statistics are now higher- I think it is somewhere in the range in 1 in 50 boys and 1 in 80 girls (I need to look into those stats a little more) have autism.

4) In addition, not that I believe in government conspiracy but IF the government did know and admit that vaccines caused autism the backlash from such a disclosure would be devastating. Can you image the law suits?!  The government pretty much requires these vaccinations to be given… if all of the sudden they announced that their requirements were causing autism- to put it lightly, crap would hit the fan.  Just something to think about…

5) In my humble opinion, there is a significant link between vaccines and SIDS- Here is an incredibly lengthy but in-depth study regarding the link between the two: I find it interesting that all through the years babies were put to sleep on their bellies (it helps with preventing flat head and helps with their spinal development) and then all of the sudden this disease is rampant.

6) The final straw for me was that a friend of mine had a little girl several years ago. The little girl’s name was Katie… my friend has told me on numerous occasions that she had a beautiful, normal little girl. There were no signs of ANY issues. My friend chose to have Katie vaccinated and she said that the days following her vaccinations her little girl began to slip away from her. She acted as though she were in a fog. She said it was the strangest thing. Years later, Katie has been diagnosed with a form of autism. But my friend said she has no doubt what happened… she said the vaccine took her little girl’s mind from her.

Of course there is no scientific proof of that happening, but I have read enough stories about similar situations that it’s just too scary for me. I never want to look into Peyton’s eyes and feel like I am losing him.

I don’t share any of this to scare you… thousands of babies are born and vaccinated each year with NO obvious issues whatsoever… my mother vaccinated me. But, after extensive research, I will not be vaccinating my child. Once again, not because I do not love him… but because, for US and our family, this is the best decision,

I understand that I am taking a risk with my son… but when I think of vaccines I want to think of prevention. Prevention of disease AND prevention of any side effects that could be caused from vaccines. I do not feel that vaccines offer absolute prevention. Genes mutate… viruses regenerate…. there is always going to be a risk. For example, people get the flu vaccine and think they will prevent the flu….when the reality is that there are thousands of strains of flu and the flu vaccine only ‘prevents’ against a few heavy strains. People still die from the flu; people that were vaccinated die from the flu. I’d rather the natural risk of disease be a threat to my child then something foreign that is injected into his little body.

In addition, many of these horrible diseases that we are attempting to ‘prevent’ by means of vaccines were experienced during times when we were not as educated on sanitation; washing our hands, etc… With proper sanitation, a great deal of disease is stopped, including many of the diseases we currently vaccinate against. Also, many people forget the power of our incredibly strong immune system when we are feeding our bodies responsibly with the fruits and vegetables we should be getting, rather than the fast food too many Americans turn to for their nourishment.

Saying all of that, I love the concept of vaccination which is prevention… but for me, the prevention they offer is not developed to the point where I feel comfortable exposing my child. I love him… I truly do. I hate when pro-vaccinating parents act like I am an irresponsible and calloused person. I’m not… I just, like everyone else, am trying to make the best decision for my child.

I don’t believe that not vaccinating Peyton is putting other children at risk. If you are a believer in vaccination, then your child is vaccinated and should be protected. I have heard and seen some of the most hateful, intolerant and bigoted responses to this topic…including the fact that I should have to take my child to a separate pediatrician because of my choice.  Here’s my perspective on that. I will gladly take Peyton to a Dr. specializing in not vaccinated patients when they become available, but until then my unvaccinated child has to be exposed to your vaccinated one. Perhaps I am the one who should be concerned.

To those of you who choose to vaccinate; you are amazing Moms. I respect your decision and I have no doubt that what you are doing is what is best for YOUR child. Saying that, please understand that whether or not you agree with me, I love my little boy more than anyone else in the world… and I am doing what is best for HIM. I do not share my input to promote debate, but rather… to ideally promote understanding that decisions regarding our health and the health of our children should be respected and left in the hands of those who love them the most- the mamas and the papas. Blessings!

Author Quick Bio:

Heidi is a wife and mom of 1 who has experience as an RN in pediatrics as well as community health nursing with the Maryland Health Department. She has done research on vaccinations for both her roles. We asked for her to share her process for making the decision not to vaccinate her son.

9 Responses to Vaccination: A Conflict of Interests – One mothers decision to not vaccinate and why.

  1. great article, thank you for the information. Question: when your son is ready for school what are you going to do? Since our public schools require vaccinations in order to attend.

  2. Hi Tiffany, when Peyton is ready for school I plan on opting out by stating that vaccination is against my religious and/or personal beliefs (although… for me personally, this is really not a ‘religious’ issue as much as it a deep concern for the health and safety of my child). Saying that, ‘religiously’ I do believe it is my responsibility to protect my child from anything that could potentially harm him. There is a form I will be required to sign stating that I am refusing vaccination for my child (Here is the link to a form similar to what I will sign: Parents in the United States do have the right to withhold vaccinations (this is accurate in 48/50 states- Mississippi and West Virginia are the exceptions). Many school systems will make it sound like they are required, but in reality as long as a parent is willing to sign a ‘refusal to vaccinate’ form and they are residing in one of the 48 states, parents are permitted to make that personal decision for their child. Taking it one step further however, if I lived in West Virginia or Mississippi and was not allowed to refuse vaccination, I would choose to homeschool, just because my husband and I feel so strongly in regards to the health issue for our child and the freedom issue for parents. Thank you for your question. 🙂 -Heidi

  3. I STRONGLY urge you to look at all sides of this issue. By not vaccinating your child you are not only putting her at risk but also putting others at risk. There is something called herd immunity where if enough of a population is vaccinated then you have little to worry about. But because of people who are allergic or can otherwise not receive vaccines, the U.S. population is nearing the threshold where herd immunity is ineffective.

    Also, many of the diseases children get vaccinated against are FATAL. As in, she could die. And because of decreasing herd immunity, there have been a huge increase in cases recently. There were over 27,000 cases in the U.S. in 2010 alone. This is only one of the diseases your child could contract if not vaccinated.

    About vaccines causing autism, I would like to point out that it has been proven that WITHOUT A DOUBT that the study was fraudulent. Here’s a legitimate link to back me up:

    And a nice quote: “Authored by Andrew Wakefield and 12 others, the paper’s scientific limitations were clear when it appeared in 1998. As the ensuing vaccine scare took off, critics quickly pointed out that the paper was a small case series with no controls, linked three common conditions, and relied on parental recall and beliefs. Over the following decade, epidemiological studies consistently found no evidence of a link between the MMR vaccine and autism”

    Finally, I have a link to a site with people disproving the supposed toxicity of vaccine ingredients:

    Please, for your children and other’s children, GET YOUR KIDS VACCINATED!!!!

  4. Trevor, as I mentioned in my previous note, I am well aware of the impact vaccination is having on our society. As a nurse, I administer vaccines to kids whose parents want them, and I am fine with that… but on that note I have too many concerns to allow the FDA, CDC and NIH to make a decision for me and my son. My intelligence is not bound by the CDC or FDA’s regulations. I was educated to think outside the box… and that’s where I stand. I acknowledged that there is risk in not following their guidelines, but as I stated, I feel that there is also risk in following them. When vaccines prove themselves to PREVENT and NEVER to harm, then I will vaccinate my child (once again, I do like the CONCEPT of vaccination). But as of now even the CDC cannot make those claims (consider: under “additional facts”). I appreciate your concern, I take it to heart. As a medical professional, I understand that people will not all see where I am coming from. When the administrator of this site asked me explain myself and the reasoning I am withholding vaccines from my child, I did so as a means of promoting understanding, not to discourage parents from vaccinating their children. I would just encourage others, as you clearly did, to do research and to decide for yourself whether or not this option is right for your child. I also mentioned in my note that the autism link, according to government research, has been discredited… I do not think I provided inaccurate or false information. I merely stated that I looked outside of the United States and found some research that for me as a parent, was too interesting scientifically to ignore. In regards to your response that the ingredients in the vaccines are safe; I would encourage you and those who make these comments to do research; scientific, not opinion. I did state in my initial post that according to the US government the levels of “toxic” ingredients were completely safe considering the dosage. However, as a mother, once again, I do not want my little boy receiving any of those substances in excess… as I mentioned before prevention is what I would love to see, not harm in the process. I do not know if you have children, but trust me when I say as a parent we are required to make many unpopular decisions, not because we want to cause controversy, but because we know that what we are doing is right for our child. If you are a parent, I respect the fact that you would do anything you deemed appropriate for your child; I am doing the same. If it makes any of your friends on that opinion forum feel better, I do not think I will be exposing my child to public education, so they can rest peacefully knowing that their child’s immunity is not compromised. 🙂 I actually kind of resent some of their obnoxious comments, when I have been nothing but polite and kind; but so it is, when you have an opinion that differs from the majority. In closing, I once again want to say that I do appreciate your concern; I understand and I take into account what you are saying, and I feel that your arguments and claims are valid and backed by the CDC, FDA and NIH; however, my personal views on this subject remain and likely will remain, until natural ingredients are used in the process and there is no chance of my son being negatively impacted, that I am choosing to wait. I respect your right to differ and your right to present your concerns and research. Thank you again. Blessings.

  5. One more thing, one of the individuals who posted under the site you referenced mentioned Dr. Larry Palevsky ( I had never heard much from him, but I really appreciated the link that was left and I think it is important to give ear to those, who have medical background, and think that there may be a concern. My desire is that parents make educated decisions, no matter the decision they ultimately choose to move forward towards.

  6. Trevor, the purpose of this ‘personal experience’ publication is to help educated those who are thinking about the whole vaccination issue and whether or not they want to vaccinate. Be it not vaccinating or be it to vaccinate. Everything we do in life comes with pros and cons and its up to parents to weight those in their decisions when it comes to raising children. The objective for this post is that people can see a mothers first hand experience that has done her research and has a medical background so it can maybe help people ease into their decision. This is in no way telling anyone NOT to vaccinate. This is merely a personal account of one mothers choice and her reasons behind why she made that choice. She has that freedom and right to what she feels is best for HER child. Just as a mother who would vaccinate their child that has the right to do whats best for HER child. This isn’t about what people should and shouldn’t do, its about informed decisions and we all know the piece of paper the doctors hand a mother with vaccination information isn’t enough.

    This is an unbiased information site and while not everyone will agree with one or the other, the main and only goal here at TLLS is to educate. If you stick around long enough, you’ll see many more posts to come talking about why you should vaccinate, why you should delay vaccinate or why you shouldn’t and the research surrounding it(granted I’m a bit slow at posting things around here since Im a mother of 4 myself and busy).

    I thank you for your comments and for visiting TLLS. You’re more than welcome here but remember, as long as we respect one another’s views, people will be more open to listening to us.

    Have a Blessed day!

  7. Trevor, Id like to also point out that vaccinations are like shields. And shields can be broken. Look at the news recently(and in the past). There are cases of VACCINATED children catching the same diseases that these shots are suppose to be ‘protecting’ against. I think the pro-vax government has been successful at giving people a false sense of security when they say ‘Vaccinate! It will protect you from x and x’. It may protect some, but not all and in my eyes, theres a problem with that message.

  8. Jason says:

    Anyone who knows anything aboit science knows that anytime you eat fruit your body naturally creates formaldehyde. So fruits must be as un healthy as vaccines. Also some fruits like grapes will create acetone in the body. Obviously fruits are bad.

    • This article is written as an informational/personal perspective purposes only. If you care to write one up as a guest poster and send it to me, Id be more then happy to use it. This blog is neutral on vaccinations and views and facts from each side are always welcome. Thank you for your comment.

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